Stressed? Take a break. Dr. Joe Grillo

I’m stressed out! That is something I have heard too often from people in my practice, and it

seems more and more common these days. Yet, what do we mean when we say we are

stressed out? It can be any number of different things. For example, one person feels stress

because they have too busy a work day, putting in more hours than is healthy for them to do

and without taking sufficient breaks for self-care. Another person is stressed because they are

looking at their social media from morning till night. In addition, all of us have been stressed by

the changes in our lives that have occurred because of the pandemic.

In each example, there has been a change: from a reasonable work schedule to overwork; from

staying in touch with others to never being disconnected; from going about our daily lives to

staying six feet apart and wearing a mask. And then there is getting blindsided: changes that

occur not because of something we are doing but that just happen, such as a sudden serious

illness or the death of someone we love.

Change is the operative word when considering stress. In my practice, I have found a general

rule to be helpful: All change leads to loss; all loss leads to stress.

Some losses we cannot control; others we can. In the case of a personal loss, such as that of a

loved one or of our job, getting help in dealing with the grief process can help shorten the

duration of the stress we are experiencing. For the changes we can control, we can do an

inventory of and assess our current state of self-care. Are we getting some regular exercise?

We know what we ought to eat, but are we sticking to a healthy diet? Are we setting limits on

being wired up to the Internet or have we become techno junkies who are playing games,

reading the news headlines, or following our social media feeds until well into the night when

we ought to be sleeping?

Once we've done that, we can begin to make choices about how to de-stress ourselves. It may

be as simple as going for a brisk walk each day, incorporating more fruits and veggies into our

meals, or setting a limit on our social media time.

We also can be proactive by engaging in what is now called mindfulness. Whether it is doing

meditation, yoga, deep breathing, or writing a gratitude journal, any activity that grounds us in

the present moment and takes us away from past and future issues likely will be beneficial.

Some mindful practices have been used for millennia. There is a lot of anecdotal information

that they're effective and work, but is there any science behind all this? Well, a look at the

research that has been done on various mindfulness practices paints a pretty decent picture. In

general, mindfulness seems to be helpful for stress reduction. Basically, the thought is that

such techniques work on soothing the autonomic nervous system, the part of the wiring inside

of us that runs things on automatic, like heartbeat and respiration. Apparently, the more we

calm and soothe that part of our neurological functioning, the better off we seem to be at

fighting the daily stressors that seem to inevitably come our way (even when there isn't a

pandemic).

Practices such as diaphragmatic breathing appear to help counter the overproduction of stress

hormone in our bodies, and it is the presence of those chemicals that most of us experiences as

stress. They were designed to protect us (i.e., fight; flight; or freeze) in times of danger, but

these days can be present when there is no immediate risk. We also know that the long-term

chronic presence of excess stress hormone in our system is not good for cardiovascular

functioning among other things.

Taking a break to do a mindful practice creates a kind of mini vacation, and this can be an

important part of self-care. If you are a productivity junkie, you might consider that short

breaks may actually make you more productive once you're done. That is, you invest a little

time to de-stress, and afterwards have more energy to tackle the tasks before you.

My personal experience is that an easy and effective way to do this is to watch a relaxing video

while I do deep breathing. There is something grounding about watching a video of the ocean,

the surf coming in and out, the roll of the foam on the beach, and the splash on the rocks. This

serves as a great vehicle for relaxation, since watching the pattern of the waves helps me to

focus myself in the present moment and to let go of mental clutter, making it easy, then, to

coordinate my breathing to the rhythm of the waves.

So, think about giving it a try: get comfortable in a chair; go to YouTube and turn on the channel

Relax.Escape.20; and take a mindful break. You may be surprised at how much less stress you

feel!

Joseph Grillo, Ph.D. is a Psychologist based in Los Angeles, CA who works

with individuals and consults to government agencies on mental health

and wellness. He has been in practice for more than 25 years.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.